I wonder.

I wonder why… you never smiled at me before. Although I can see that you’re being happy, but that’s not true at all. Whenever you see me, you look angry. I wonder what I disappointed you. Is it because of my studies? Or is it because of my attitude? I don’t know. Whenever I try to force myself to cheer you up, make up some lame stories, but you always answered with a fragile smile. Things can never go back to the way it was, maybe. I try to study; I try to change my attitude. Yet, you didn’t notice me. You scolded me and ordered me around as if nothing happened. Maybe I’m just a failure to you? That day, you shouted at me, I wonder is it my entire fault that makes you like this. Maybe it is just a work stress? I won’t know. You never tell me anything you really desire for. Maybe I’ll study hard for you; maybe I’ll be a successful person, with a family, children, or anything that could make you happy. You once smiled for me, laughed for me, but not anymore. I wonder what changed you. Is it necessary to be rich? Why aren’t we a happy family, like other families do? Is it because I’m the youngest child in the family, so you have high hopes for me? Is it because both of my brothers are so successful, so you want more from me? …I wonder.